Allen: I wish I could ask Dad for advice.
Charlie: You’d go to Dad for marriage counseling? Allen, our father committed suicide to get away from our mother.
Allen: What are you talking about? Dad didn’t commit suicide. He died of food poisoning.
Charlie: I maintain that he knew that the fish was bad, but he kept eating it anyway.
—from Two and a Half Men, season 1
From seemingly disagreement to agreement:
Allen [ crying over his dead pet pig.]: Don’t you get it? I’m the pig.
Charlie[trying to sooth him]: Okay. I’m just asking, because your reaction doesn’t seem very healthy to me.
Allen: And what do you think would be healthy, Charlie?
Charlie: I don’t know. Why don’t we toss Porky into the ocean and go get bombed?
Charlie: How could you? How could you? [pause] Okay.
— from Two and a Half Men, season 1
Alan: Charlie, a moment?
Charlie: Not now, Alan.
Alan: Uh, yeah, well, there’s a bit of a situation, and I’m afraid I’m gonna have to insist.
Charlie (to Chelsea, his girl friend) : I’d better talk to him. He’s about to go full fruit fly.
— From Two and Half Men Episode 22, Season 6.